Is Sex Addiction for Real?

These days, the word addiction gets tossed around a lot. People will say they are 'addicted to ice cream' or horror films, or sunny days. With addiction being a very real and dangerous mental health condition, it can be hard to separate true illnesses from excuses for poor behavior, or a way to enforce a prejudice.

Sex addiction falls squarely inside of this confusion.

Sexual desire is an inherent part of being human. While a small percentage of people are asexual (not interested in sex) the vast majority will cope with intense sexual desire at least once in their lifetime. Some argue that the idea of 'sex addiction' is not a real illness, but a problem of self-control, of a person making an excuse for inappropriate, or even illegal, sexual behavior.

On the other side of the argument, some view 'sex addiction' as a way to continue making sexuality something to be ashamed of. Some people are asexual (no sex drive) others are hypersexual (intense sex drive) and making them feel ashamed of or deny their sexuality is wrong and damaging.

Both of these views may be partly correct. Certainly there may be people who simply have no interest in controlling their behavior, and blame it on an addiction. And definitely there are a number of people with a very healthy hypersexuality who are happy with themselves and their lives and are not harming themselves or anyone else with their choices.

However, sexual addiction can be real. There are people who have spent thousands of dollars, lost jobs, familiar, lives over a need for sexual gratification that they can't control, no matter how hard they try.

So long as a person is not harming themselves or anyone else with their sexuality, and are happy with their lives, there is no reason to believe they are addicted. Equally, if someone is harming others but is not upset about it and doesn't try to stop it they are not addicted, they are selfish, and possibly criminal. But someone who is harming themself or others with their search for sexual gratification, and can't stop themselves is probably suffering from a true addiction, and needs help.